Freqs

Freqs - Release date 11th November. CD only.

Dawn of the drones. Rock 'n' Roll is essentially frequencies. And frequencies are all drones.

After recording my latest album for Cherry Red 'Smash The System' I still had the itch to record more. So I sat down with a Moog Werkstaat 001 synthesiser and did exactly that. The Moog (it's pronounced Moog not Moge - fucker) has 'the filter.' If you wanna go deep 'freq' you need 'the filter.' So here's the science bit: The Moog can hit frequencies so low that it could stun a cow at 50 ft, and so high that it could kill a dog on a Jumbo Jet. But of course any fool can record drones - so I put an end to that...

In July I trademarked the frequency 43 hertz. 43 hertz is an audible frequency just above a sub sonic. It can be heard in all electronic music, and pretty much all music apart from James Galway's greatest hits. To put it bluntly, If you are recording music or intend to release music in the future or have released music in the past then you probably owe me money. You'll keep though. On with the show -

The first 'side' of 'Freqs' ('Warning To The Freqs' and 'Freqs 1- 4') are all drone experiments. I have no idea what you are supposed to do when listening to this 'music.' Maybe take heroin.

The second 'side' of 'Freqs' (tracks 6 - 10) is the 'pop' side. 'Freqs' now becomes a 'meta' album. It's the story of what happens when a man (Luke Haines) effectively controls all sound. So, the freaks (or freqs) now inhabit a 'Ruined Airport' somewhere in eastern Britain. (eastern Britain is now located where Denmark used to be) In 'Ruined Airport' the planes come in, and so do the freaks (freqs) but no-one can ever leave...

Freq Out, boys n gals. 'Freqs' is out Friday 11th November and comes free with Electronic Sound Magazine. It can not be sold separately.

Three New Vince Taylor Paintings

3 New Vince Taylor Paintings

'There's murder in the air Bill Hailey
Out in the rock n roll nite
Is he smoking a Pall Mall cigarette
Or a flat 555?
I'm just looking for Vince Taylor
At the rock n roll station on the rock n roll train
Jac rides a rock n roll bike in the rock n roll rain'

I wrote the above words. They are from a new song called 'Black Bunny.' And, when we write a song what do we (I) do? We (I) paint the song...so, here are three paintings of the epically strange Vince Taylor - you know all about him - he was partly the inspiration for Ziggy, he wrote 'Brand New Cadillac' (a song even the Clash failed to ruin) thought he was from America (he was from Isleworth) and went spectacularly berserk. A kind of orthodox rock n roll Syd Barratt.

So, here are three paintings - a Vince Taylor triptych - available as separate pieces.

Prices

UK inc P&P £150.00 GBP Europe inc P&P £155.00 GBP Rest of the World inc P&P £160.00 GBP

Wrestling Paintings For Sale

Frenz and fiends. As we enter the pagan feast season it seems wise to paint more psychedelic wrestlers. Behold the first three daubings: The mystic Kendo Nagasaki. Look at him. But don't look at him, and for God's sake do not spill his pint. Then Les Kellett, perhaps the most 'occult' of the golden age of wrestlers. I have rendered him channelling The Fall's Spectre Versus Rector, and laughing his fucking head off. And finally in this instalment I present 'Cyanide' Sid Cooper. A classic heel and bad man - here Sid from Yorkshire contemplates Satan, the Lord of fallen angels.

This painting is acrylic on canvas 30cm x 30cm edition 1 of 1. Painted and signed by Luke Haines

Prices

UK inc P&P £100.00 GBP Europe inc P&P £105.00 GBP Rest of the World inc P&P £110.00 GBP

This painting is acrylic on canvas 30cm x 30cm edition 1 of 1. Painted and signed by Luke Haines. NOW SOLD OUT.

This painting is acrylic on canvas 25cm x 30cm edition 1 of 1. Painted and signed by Luke Haines. NOW SOLD OUT

Righteous Paintings - Ltd Edition of 20

'RIGHTEOUS' PAINTINGS By Luke Haines. LIMITED EDITION OF 20

Available for 7 days only (Closes midnight Monday 16th November)

Hail Frenz and Fiends.

It has been a busy year. A year of the mini album, a 'Raving' LP, a cookbook, and of course my current 'waxwork': 'British Nuclear Bunkers'. A righteous year for me and hopefully for you brothers and sisters. To end the year I decided to pick up my paintbrushes, put on my Pete Townshend boiler-suit and size 50 DMs – and take to the canvas. This particular canvas is a limited edition of 20 individual 'Righteous' paintings, available in Maoist red and white and revolutionary black on red. These paintings are so revolutionary that they will only be available for 7 days.

So look, feel the power of the righteous fist salute, and don't let the heat run you off the streets.

Luke Haines, Baron of Righteousness.  South England. 9th November 2015

Example of three Righteous paintings in a row

'Righteous' Painting. Ltd edition of 20 individual paintings by Luke Haines. Acrylic on canvas. 25cm by 30cm. Each painting will be signed by the artist.

Prices inc P&P

UK inc P&P £75.00 GBP Europe inc P&P £78.00 GBP USA inc P&P £82.00 GBP

NEW OUTSIDER MUSIC ALBUM!

'RAVING' (volumes 1- 75) By Luke Haines

'Raving' is the new Outsider Music CD by Luke Haines: An album, a folk-ART statement and instant collector's item. Each of the 75 CDs contains a separate performance of the 12- 14 songs that make up the 'Raving' album/ART statement. Let's put that another way: Luke Haines has recorded this album 75 times (he is very tired). For you. For art. Each CD of 'Raving' is recorded live to tape with minimal overdubs and lasts between 30 – 35 minutes. Mr. Haines plays some of the instruments simultaneously. Here's a bit of blurb about the tracks on 'Raving':

'Marc Bolan Blues' – 'Sitting here with the Marc Bolan blues...' a self explanatory boogie

'The Incredible String Band' – The story of how the ISB discovered Scientology. In song. With Kazoo

Chris From The Stars - A song about a mythological character from teen soap 'Hollyoaks.' The elusive 'Chris' lures the songs narrator into a dance of death. A harmonium drone with tape effects - all played simultaneously.

Herbie Hancock Has An Idea – The synth jazz pioneer is hungry. He needs spicy pizza. Originally titled 'Hungry Herbie.' Features an overdubbed 'Korg Attack' synth' solo.

'68p In My Pocket' – You all know Iggy's 'I've got my cock in my pocket.' You may also know the Velvet Undergrounds' 'Fever In My Pocket.' Well, this is a song about a man who has 68p in his pocket.

Hey Bobby – Bobby is a modern day Mad Hatter. Sometimes he's here - sometimes he isn't. Sometimes he crops up in other songs. That's Bobby for you.

Makin' The Ladies Cry – A man who has an unfortunate habit of reducing every woman he meets to tears. No one knows why.

Drooling – 'I'm sticky like the fluff on your chin. I'm dusty like dusty bin.' Goes the song.

Bomber Jacket – A song that didn't make it on the Auteurs Bootboys album because I could never finish it. Now I have. Some things are worth waiting for.

Impossible Art Band – A spoken word album wrapped up in under a minute. Frank Zappa's entire career reduction. 4 instruments played simultaneously including a reversed backwards piano. (Bobby sometimes creeps into this track)

Rave – After the storm...

New Pagan Sun – A retelling of the 1980 Dart World Championship...

'Raving' will be available to buy on Thursday 26^th February, from the Outsider Music Blog website only. Each CD has an individually hand drawn/painted cover, and is signed, by Luke Haines.
'Raving' is an extremely limited release of 75 copies only. Each one is entirely different. Each CD is £75 inc P&P - see Paypal menu for worldwide options.

Prices

UK P&P £75.00 GBP Europe P&P £78.00 GBP Rest of World P&P £82.00 GBP

'Lou Reed Lou Reed' paintings by commission.

Due to unprecedented demand, I will now take commissions on 'Lou Reed Lou Reed' paintings.

30 x 40cm acrylic on canvas original 'Lou Reed Lou Reed' paintings by Luke Haines

Prices inc P&P

UK inc P&P £120.00 GBP Europe inc P&P £125.00 GBP Rest of World £130.00 GBP

Drug Onion Soup

Drug Onion Soup.

You will need:

4 – 6 large 'brown' onions

Couple of cloves of garlic

Pinch of 'brown' sugar

Unhealthy glug of Vermouth or white wine

A litre of beef stock (real or made with fucking beef stock cube)

Scraps of left over beef (optional)

A few slices of Emmental cheese (optional)

French bread

Drugs, as we all know, are incredibly good for you. I'm not talking penicillin, antibiotics, aspirin, Mars Bars. I'm talkin' 'bout street drugs brother. Speed cut with Domestos, Julie Acid. Skag drugs. H. Henry the Horse. Harry the Hill, Howard the Goodall. Once, various mimsies decried the use of these fun recreational items (drugz) – 'Ooh no! you will git addicted and you will die like Bam Bam out of Grange Hill School' they squealed. Luckily these lust-less pipsqueaks have been righteously deposed by the forward-thinking warlocks and occultists who now run our sequinned cuntry. drugzzz make you confident, they make you live long and they bring you out of yourself. Let's fucking cook. Mother, bring me my drug onions, I'm going to make soup.

By the useful narrative device known as 'just making shit up' you have found yourself in New York's not-yet gentrified Bowery, in the very early 80s. Let's say it's 1981, or '82, it doesn't really matter because you are on so many drugs you could be anywhere. The drugs have, of course, made you super healthy and have given you a massive heart attack... No, that's wrong I meant to say massive appetite. Yes, you have a massive appetite because you have just taken a load of drugz. The only real downside of your massive drug consumption is that it uses up all your money and now all you've got left to eat is 4 – 6 brown onions, a few cloves of garlic, a pinch of 'brown' sugar, an unhealthy glug of vermouth or white wine, a litre of beef stock, scraps of leftover beef, a few slices of emmental cheese, and some French bread. Fantastically – and this is probably another by-product of your drug addiction – all these ingredients can be used to cook up an easy (and healthy - though not as healthy as your H) French Onion soup. Or for you, my junky friend – Drug Onion Soup.

So, Cook. Cook it cunt. Fucking cook you fucker. You Chinese fucking zoo man. You fucking no headed remedialist. Fucking stop fucking around fucking cook. Fuck-legged Fucker.

Heat up some oil in a heavy saucepan, now thinly slice the onions. That's slice not chop. Only retards chop, you my are a free thinker: a freetard. Freetards slice, retards chop. Now, with the drug onions all nicely sliced chuck 'em in the saucepan. Now cook on a high heat whilst continually stirring. The onions must not stick to the pan. Once golden and a little brown round the edges turn the heat way down. Chuck in the drug garlic and add a pinch of sugar. You're going to leave this mush of drug onions to very gently cook for about 25 minutes. Sweeten the fuck up. Now go outside and smash your head repeatedly against the sharp corner of an upended paving stone. (Optional.)

Now would be the perfect time to stick some drugs up your drug arms, that is after all the reason that God gave you six arms. So, the music to accompany this pot of fucked onions? You're probably thinking Johnny Thunders and the Heartbreakers. You were probably with Johnny last night at the Mudd club. Perhaps he was hitting you over the head with his guitar. Perhaps you are Johnny Thunders. It doesn't matter because we are not playing Johnny Thunders. We're going to go for something a little less obvious: Lou Reeds' 1978 live album 'Take No Prisoners.'

'Take No Prisoners' is a live album unlike any other. Throughout the 70s the live album became the de-rigueur contractual obligation album for the artist and ,for the punter, a cheap (they were usually doubles at single lp price) greatest hits bashed-through juke box. 'Take No Prisoners' is neither of these fucking 'things.' Recorded at New Yorks bottom line club, Lou in 'playful' mood murders his greatest songs (you get the impression on listening to this album that 'playful' for Lou would be murderous for anyone else) Over a backing band comprising of men mainly called 'Marty' and sounding only like an over-testosteroned E Street band. (If you don't like sax then you'll like it even less after listening to this.) Lou doesn't bother singing. He just harangues: the audience, the head of his record label, the critic Robert Christgau – who Lou calls a 'Toe fucker.' Lou even has an argument with himself. It's a shame that old Lou Reed has saddled himself with such a non-life enhancing reputation. 'Take No Prisoners' really is a blast in a NY wise guy punching himself (and everyone else) in the face kinda way.

Punch yourself in the face now you gouched out feckless goat. The drug onions are calling you, they are saying 'please mr junkie cover us in a leetle Vermouth so we bubble exitedly.' Do it now skag dad. Then add the stock and bring it to the boil and simmer, with saucepan lid off, for about an hour. Or until Lou Reed calls you a 'toe fucker.'

Now, you've got time to sing a song to the drug onions. Tell them you love them, and that you can't live without them. Tell them you are going to Reno with a man called Iain.

To serve, melt some emmental on to the french bread and chuck the toastie cheese bread into the drug onion soup. Now then Duncan, it's time to Plate. The. Fuck. Up.